Why I Love Cats

May 18, 2007 at 2:09 pm (nonsense)

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. B*st*rds!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

Leave a Comment

Leaving Tonight

May 9, 2007 at 12:03 am (lyrics, movie, nonsense)

I’m so bored.

Like totally, utterly, completely bored. As in so bored that I have resorted to singing Lovin’ You in a horrible, high-pitch parody version, causing my Mom to pop her head in my room and casually mention that she thinks I’ve gone insane.

Have you guys seen pictures of the Shrek babies? They’re so adorable!

I’m currently layaning Ne-Yo ft. Jennifer Hudson – Leaving Tonight because the lyrics are damn power man. I first heard it in Sean’s car because he just bought the Ne-Yo CD and holy crap, I refused to leave the car until the song ended, so we had to sit outside his house in his car for a little while 😀 On a completely random note, Sean has a HUGE rottweiler. When I say HUGE, I mean HUGE. Anyway, guess what his name is.

Baby.

I kid you not! 😀

Two hundred and sixteen, that’s how many times I went back and forth about it in my mind. Could she, could she really be who he’s tellin me that she is? There’s somethin about it that don’t feel right. Saturday she called here 26 times, you kept tellin’ me not to worry, wanna believe that you tellin the truth, but if you are lying then leave …

Leave a Comment

Ibuku Inspirasiku

May 3, 2007 at 11:13 pm (nonsense, outing)

Today I had to wake up at 9 in the fricking morning to go for Avon’s Mothers Day function thing because they were honoring five inspirational mothers, and my Grandma happened to be one of them. To top that all off, I couldn’t wear any of my normal dresses because the (new and rather pretty) queen was going to be there. So I had to wear a baju kebaya. At 9 in the morning. Because apparently people don’t believe in DINNER FUNCTIONS anymore. Beef!

There were five categories: top representative for Avon Malaysia, mother of knowledge, career mother, community service mother, and mother of culture (or something like that). My Grandma was the community service one because of her extensive work with the PBSM, and all the various charities she presides over. I can’t remember the names of the others, but Tom Abang Saufi was the culture one! I really love her designs man, and it was awesome getting to meet her! So anyway, yes, the new queen (coronated just a week ago) was the VVIP, with Najib’s wife being the VIP. The new queen’s really young and quite pretty too. Erm, Nora performed, but I’m not quite sure who Nora is, though I think it could be the one who did the duet with Vince — but whatever, she’s really good.

I have this huge pimple on my EYEBROW. Who gets pimples on their eyebrows for god sakes?! I think it’s two pimples combined to make a huge one — cause it’s really ENORMOUS. I’m a bit scared. You’ll never know, it might grow a mouth one day and swallow my eye.

And I like my eye, thank you very much.

All jokes aside, seriously, it’s huge. Like we’re talking a diameter of 1CM.

😦

Leave a Comment

So What-everrrr

April 16, 2007 at 11:50 am (movie, nonsense, oh shit)

My current ringtone is Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend because I’m ashamed to say that I find the song incredibly catchy, and that I detest Avril Lavigne but for this song … I’ll make an exception 🙂 Mrina cringes everytime my phone rings (which isn’t a lot, come to think of it …) and in Melbourne, Aaron D (I’m renaming him because it sounds cooler than just Aaron, hahaha) cringes everytime Sean calls me because my special tone for him is Beyonce – Irreplaceable. Hee hee! Mrina‘s ringtone is awesome because it’s Johnny Cash – Ring Of Fire, one of the best songs EVER. I haven’t yet deciphered what Sean‘s main ringtone is supposed to be, but normally it’s either Muse – Starlight or Justin Timberlake – My Love, and for his other phone, it’s normally My Chemical Romance – Famous Last Words. I’m not too sure what Zehan‘s ringtone is either, but I know it’s Jet – Are You Gonna Be My Girl? when her Mom calls her, and sometimes it’s Justin Timberlake – My Love as well. I haven’t been around Ching or Jun Wei recently, but when I left, both of them were using Mariah Carey which is of course, the most awesome thing ever. Yes, in case you couldn’t tell, I like listening to ringtones, hee hee.

It was Thoina‘s birthday two days ago so The 5Mars Gang (minus Ching, Kin, and Iylia) met up for movie night at my house. We played poker most of the time though, and since no one had money, we played with roasted nuts. So awesome. I ended up losing all my money first, and had to borrow nuts off from Sean 😦 So sad. Apparently I quite suck at poker. Hmph. Poker is the new tai dee, okay!

Sean, Lionel and I watched Stranger Than Fiction yesterday, and it was quite okay, but I fell asleep halfway through the movie so I wouldn’t know much, heh. Interesting plot, cool actors, blah blah blah. I don’t know if I mentioned but I’ve been taking Mandarin tuition for one and a half hours EVERYDAY. And I’m supposed to keep on with that until I leave for Melbourne again, poop!

Speaking of Melbourne, can I just say that I am never using my debit card again. I always knew that you know, the statement will print what you’ve spent on, but HELLO, I didn’t expect my Mom to ask me for the statement and right on there in big, bold letters has the exact amount I spend EVERYWHERE. I see GUCCI and BETTINA LIANO on there most prominently, with the numbers in the hundreds. Holy shit. I’m just going to be smart and pay in cash from now on, thank you very much! :O

Leave a Comment

Gah!

April 11, 2007 at 12:19 pm (miscellaneous, nonsense, outing, ranting)

I pulled the most dumbest thing I have quite possibly ever done in my entire life last night. Seriously, it was megafucking embarassing, but I did give the guys a good laugh though 😦 Asyraf, Thoina, Gamms and I went to Decanter for dinner. When we arrived, I thought I saw Aaron sitting inside the restaurant, so I went in to say hi.

Guy: *stands up*
Me: Hi! How are you? I’m back for awhile!
Guy: Oh hi, I’m fine, oh really?
Me: Ya! Okay, I’ll talk to you later, I’m gonna go sit with them for a bit!

When I get back to the guys, they go “Mel, you do know that that’s not Aaron right?” and I was like “BUT WE HAD A CONVERSATION!” and oh my god, I was so embarassed. Bugger, people shouldn’t go around looking like somebody else god dammit! Asyraf commented “I’m glad to see you haven’t changed!” Oh whatever! 😦 😦

Before that went shopping at One Utama with Sean, didn’t buy anything because everything’s so boring, meh. I did see this dress I liked in Zara though! Had lunch at TGIF and then picked up Ze from her house, went all the way to Sunway to pick up Freddie, then came all the way back to Hartamas to have a drink at Devi’s 🙂 Went out seperate ways, had my embarassing moment at Decanter, and then the guys dropped me at Starbucks to meet up with Sean and Lionel. Sean and I watched Employee of the Month last night and can I just say it’s one of the biggest waste of time and money ever? :O SUCH A STUPID MOVIE!

I was looking at my counter thingy and one of the search strings from Google was photos of sexy aunties coming from bath. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET?! I don’t know how I got listed under that, but why the hell are people searching for such dodgy things anyway? Eew, much?! Bleh!

2 Comments

Battle of the Fluff

March 5, 2007 at 9:24 am (nonsense)

Something’s been happening at Sean’s place for the past two to three days. I personally like to refer to it as ..

THE BATTLE OF THE FLUFF


Here’s what went down.

Sean and Jun went to BigW to stock up on things for their new place (and left me waiting for them for 50 minutes without so much as a phone call okay) and they found $50 Egyptian Bath Towels to match their $158 Egyptian Cotton sheets (insert rolling eyes smiley here). Jun bought white ones, while Sean bought blue ones, as well as a blue bath mat (I have the pink one :D)

All was fine and dandy, and those Egyptian towels are heaven because they’re so warm and fuzz y and big. You can wrap yourself up twice! 😀 But then, disaster struck. The blue towels and bath mat started fluffing up everywhere, so the entire (very clean, very white) bathroom was filled with blue threads and icky looking bits.

Sean went to take a shower in the morning, saw all the fluff, started screaming a lot of curse words, and we had to go all the way to BigW where we had to buy the best mop he could fine that could absorb the fluff. He spent the entire evening cleaning his bathroom 😛

My exact words were “Leave the fluff alone, what did it every do to you?!” but then again, I’ve been to obsessed with Need For Speed on his XBOX 360 (why do I even go home when they have all the entertainment at their place?!?!) to bother while he starts swearing at innocent blue fluff. Then he washed the towels to try to de-fluff them, except when he opened the washing machine after that, there was blue water (complete with fluff) all over the floor.

Oh, funnyness 😀

I know Ze tagged me, and I promise I’ll do it later because now I need to rush out to meet Ching Yi for lunch. Oh, and I forgot to mention that during a temporary lapse of judgement, my hair is now red.

Yes people, red.

2 Comments

Don’t Mess!

February 7, 2007 at 12:31 am (nonsense, outing, ranting)

I think you all should know that I’m one of the weirdest people you’ll ever meet. Seriously. I was going through the archives of my old blog and can I just say, my life is never boring?!

Two weeks before SPM, my neighbours were playing with fireworks while I was studying History, and whenever they released one, I would jump three feet in the air. I was already high on caffeine, and very stressed out, so I did what any sane person would do.

I went outside and yelled a whole string of profanities at them.

No, really.

I told them that if they didn’t stop they’re all going to Hell and that they should be more considerate because SPM was in two weeks and that I didn’t give two fucks what celebration it was because I was trying to study History and if they didn’t stop their fireworks, I’ll burn down their house and all their offspring will suffer painful deaths.

I think they got the point because they stopped.

I settled back into my chair, and resumed studying. Half an hour later, double the number of fireworks! Buggers were probably doing it to spite me! So what did I do? Yell somemore? Nah, I’m better than that.

I called the cops on them 😀 A patrol car came round and summoned their asses.

I’m priceless, I know.

ANYWAY!

Had dinner at Vietnam Kitchen with Jun Wei and Mrina. It was full of dodgy conversation, and good company 🙂 Had dessert with Jun Wei at Bakerzin after that (mmm, warm chocolate cake with thyme ice cream, please!) before Ian, Julian and Kevin came to pick us up. Went over to Jun Wei’s for a bit before asking my Mom to come pick me up since I wanted to go home 😛

I was looking at photos of my belly piercing, and I miss it lah. I wanna go get it repierced before I leave, but at the same time I’m so lazy to take care of it all over again because it’s so hard to take care of! .. I have the terrible habit of getting pierced whenever I have nothing better to do, sigh. I don’t know, I’ll sleep on it.

6 Comments

My Best Friends

February 5, 2007 at 10:38 pm (nonsense)

I have awesome friends, I tell you.

Jun Wei and I were talking about random things, and a certain something came up, and I pretty much asked him what he would do if someone attacked me.

Jun Wei: Sorry, I can’t protect you there. I’m not risking my face!
Me: Damn bad wei you. Confirm Ching also won’t save me like that!
Jun Wei: That woman will be the first to run if it comes to her face.
Jun Wei: Sadly, I will run right beside her.

I love my friends.

Leave a Comment

Embarassing Moment #9

February 3, 2007 at 3:09 pm (bimbo, nonsense)

I just remembered another embarassing moment to add on to the embarassing moments list I made, heh heh.

9. The time when I wore a bright, hot pink bra, and I didn’t realise that my shirt was sheer until I looked into the mirror properly at work. Oh, priceless!

My memory sucks. I can’t remember whether I brushed my teeth this morning, so I just brushed them again. I wonder if this is how getting old feels like.

3 Comments

Embarassing Moments

January 26, 2007 at 7:29 pm (bimbo, nonsense)

I’m bored, so here we go.

Mellissa Lee’s Most Embarassing Moments

1. Falling into the drain outside the canteen @ SMKSH. I wasn’t looking at where I was going and I fluttered down (apparently those years of ballet training came in handy for once) into the drain, but like Mrina said, at least I fell gracefully.

2. Knocking my head on a hanging flower pot, also @ SMKSH. I was messaging someone on my phone and I didn’t see where I was going, so kaboom, I hit my head on those stupid clay pots. The pots were then changed to plastic pots, and I think now they’re gone.

3. Crossing that busy main road outside Breakers @ Hartamas and slipping, thus leading to me falling down right in the middle of the road, in front of so many cars! Jun Wei was having a massive “OMG MELL, YOU ALMOST DIED!” fit while I was too busy laughing.

4. Bursting into tears in the middle of Laundry (yes, yes, I DO know that it’s supposed to be a happy place!) but I couldn’t control it, okay? 😦

5. Calling my Mom after our (Jun Wei and I) “we almost died” moment to ask her if we should’ve called the cops. She was like “What?! Are you serious?!” while Jun Wei and I were having this battle with our conscience in the taxi. Heh heh. But hey, Jun Wei, we really did almost die right?! Technically, that is.

6. On the same night as #5, singing High School Musical songs in the taxi with Jun Wei, while the taxi driver started looking at us funny.

7. When the stylist at A Cut Above asked Jun Wei if I was his girlfriend.

8. The day in KLCC with my aunty when we set off all the alarms in every store we walked to :\ There was something in her bag or mine that was setting off all the alarms (you know those sensor things at the door?) except we couldn’t figure out what it was, and no, we weren’t shoplifting either! 😦

.. I just realised a lot of my embarassing moments have to do with Jun Wei. That has to be some sort of wacked up sign wei.

2 Comments

« Older entries